Cozy Martian Mysteries
These selection of dialogue snippets from my in-progress game “Cozy Martian Mysteries” showcase my comedic style and conversational pacing.
Abby: Did anyone tell you they were planning on breaking in to your jewelry shop? Jeweler: Uh, no, they neglected to let me know beforehand. Abby: Shame, that would've made our job easier. Abby: What was stolen? Jeweler: A bunch of particularly nice pieces of jewelry from the safe. Including my favorite piece. Abby: What was it? Jeweler: A nice piece of home-grown pyrite sculpted to look like ... Abby: To look like what? Jeweler: Well, it's kinda embarrassing. Abby: Ah, say no more. I completely understand. Abby: I'm actually quite familiar with pieces of jewelry shaped like butts. Jeweler: Oh! Really? Abby: Oh yes. Look here ... blast. I seem to have left my butt bracelet at home. Jeweler: Shame. Anyway, no, the piece of pyrite was actually shaped like my face. Abby: Your face?! Jeweler: Yes, it's a little niche. Not many people wanted to purchase it. Abby: Although at least one person wanted to steal it. And with that jawline, I can see why!
Martha: It looks like that's everything to find here. Abby: Shall we retire to our mind palace? Martha: After you! Jeweler: Leaving already? Abby: Oh, no. We're just going to stand in the middle of the room and go into a meditative trance. Martha: Thereby entering into a metaphysical representation of our memories, wherein we make deductions. Jeweler: ... Jeweler: Awesome. Abby: It is. Jeweler: Can I come? Martha: You may not.
Abby: Looks like this leads up to the next car, Martha. Martha: Look at that warning light, Abby. You know what that means? Abby: "Warning! Culprit in this direction?" Martha: Likely not. Abby: "Warning! Ladies over seventy only?" Martha: I've never seen such a warning light, as useful as it would be. Abby: "Warning! Lots of puppies behind this door?" Martha: Basically, but replace "puppies" with "the cold vacuum of Mars." Abby: I would never replace puppies with the cold vacuum of Mars! Martha: Regardless, there's no air behind this door. We'll need protection to keep going.
These dialogue samples from “Air Slip,” a mobile puzzle game prototype, showcase a goofier side of my writing, with more deliberate fourth-wall breaks to convey gameplay information amidst narrative silliness.
Captain: Sorry to have crashed into your home. Sylvia: I can't believe you did that. Captain: The good news is: we're evacuating, so you don't need your dented home any more! Sylvia: That IS good news!
Scientist: Fascinating! Captain: What? Did you read my diary? Scientist: No! We're now at a slightly higher altitude, and it's affecting our fuel usage. Captain: Please explain. What is this 'fuel usage' you speak of? Scientist: As long as we're at this altitude, we have SEVEN MOVES INSTEAD OF SIX!
Cynthia: What if we all moved underground? Wouldn't that keep us safe from the wind and mushrooms? Scientist: I'm afraid not. The mushrooms came out of the ground, and I'm detecting disturbing readings from underground again. Cynthia: Disturbing? Like, disturbing how cheap the real estate prices are underground? Scientist: Almost exactly not like that.
Captain: How are we doing, Navigator? Navigator: Quite well! We're about 75% done with this region. Captain: Spare me the technicalities and percentages! I understand FRACTIONS ONLY! Navigator: Apologies, Captain. I know what you've told me about using fractions on the bridge.
The Pursuant Monument
“The Pursuant Monument” is a graphic short story in the style of Edward Gorey’s comedic-macabre books, such as The Epiplectic Bicycle” and “The Gashlycrumb Tinies.” It features the characters from my game Catty Shack, and it utilizes the quasi-old-fashioned, verbose narrative style of its inspiration.